On the 5th of August, my baby will turn 18 months old. As in a year-and-a-half, or half-way to two. As in sooooo not a baby anymore. As in somebody hold me, please.
If I could sum up the past 18 months I would emphatically respond to anyone on any given day “it’s been crazy.”
It took me 17 months (yes, just a few weeks ago) for me to figure out this kid. For the longest time I could not fathom why he screamed and insisted on being difficult about everything. He would frustrate me with his poor sleeping patterns, lack of patience, refusal to try new foods, angry outbursts, constant screaming/complaining and overall demanding nature. And when I say “he would frustrate me”, I mean that there were days I had to promise myself not to chuck him across the room (no, I’m not kidding.) While his smile was contagious and his laugh toxic, those moments of joy seemed to be so few and far in between that we were certain he was just a miserable kid and something must have been mentally imbalanced.
So what did I figure out? What finally clicked? Hold on, this is a good one, you’re never gonna believe this.
Lucas isn’t mentally imbalanced at all….he’s me and it appears I may have passed on a few of the less-desireable traits I happen to possess. Oops.
I told you it was crazy!
After thinking about it, it all started to make sense. I like to have things done my way. I like being in charge. (I know, real shocker, right??) And when I don’t like how something is being done, I usually let you know about it. I hate doing things the same way everyday. I’m a very picky eater. I have a temper. (I didn’t say I was proud of it, but it’s there.) And stupid people? They annoy me. And while I’ve never hit someone when they made me mad, I have been known to put a few holes in the wall.
Now I have this child who gets pissed when I don’t give him what he wants, gets super annoyed with me when I don’t seem to understand what he wants (maybe he thinks I’m stupid??), and it irks him when I keep shoving mushy green crap in his face while saying over and over “why can’t you just eat this!?!” knowing full well that I wouldn’t eat it either. Of course his natural reaction would be to kick, bite and hit me. DUH!
And while those traits can be used for good leadership skills and a self-driven workaholic, they can also be difficult to work with (just ask my husband!). Difficult, but NOT impossible! Each day Lucas is learning new words and phrases. His vocabulary is multiplying faster than I remember it going with my first. As each new phrase is learned, there is one more communication barrier broken between us and ultimately one less event frustrating him/us to no end.
18 months might mark a year-and-a-half for some, but for us – it marks a new start. I have fallen even more in love with him with each waking moment as he is happier than he has ever been. I look forward to taking him places instead of dreading the battles that I knew would lie ahead. I text my husband about all the things he’s mastered for the day and tell him not to worry about getting home on time – vastly different from the daily calls of hysterical crying begging him to please not work late because I can’t take anymore.
Lucas – I’m so proud of you and I am SO HAPPY you are here. We have come a long way and I can’t wait for the rest of our journey together. I promise I will keep trying to break down those barriers if you promise to hang in there and wait for your mama to figure it out. You are a blessing to our family and it wouldn’t be complete without you in it. We love you.
Happy One-and-a-Half Birthday!
Tell us – what good or bad traits did you pass onto your children?